Proximity

Proximity  can be described as : nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation.

 As seldom as we think about proximity it actually plays an important role in our everyday commute. For example couples and immediate family usually stand the closest in the subway .they frequently lean, touch or even bump into each other without noticing . Friends and acquaintances keep a steady distance between each other, close enough to converse but not as close as a couples proximity. But recent experiences have lead me to raise the question - how close is too close? Couples have all right to exhibit public displays of affection but dry humping your spouse in the midst of strangers and children is highly inappropriate. Parents have all right to bring their kids on public transportation but when the kids decide to stretch out on the seat like a sofa this is highly inappropriate, when a stranger stands close enough that you can feel their breath - this also is highly inappropriate. Every car, bus, train cart is made efficiently for a specific amount of people to fit comfortably. But sometimes you have to be aware of the proximity rule(~a person commuting via mass transit should always be at least 6 inches away from every other individual at all times~), this rule is effective whenever you have encountered a situation that makes you think whoa- is it just me? Or is this person weird for being this close.

Don't be afraid! Yell out proximity rule when:

• A hand slides down the pole onto yours-ewww
• When the person standing in front hair happens to be in your face
• When someone is so close to you that you can feel their body heat .
• When some one's random bag of shenanigans is resting on your foot.
• When some one's handbag or back pack is poking you in the back or side.

In an ironic twist - while finishing up this article on the train..... a girl throws up in the cart that I'm riding in!

Pause!

 

I then found the only exception where the proximity rule becomes  null and void. Like a ripple in pond of water people moved away uniformly to escape one of the most potent threats of a commuter - vomit. This is one of the few cases where bumping into someone, jumping onto someone, clutching some stranger is absolutely acceptable (followed by a sincere apology of course).public transport is designed for you to travel safely and comfortably to your destination. personally i know that comfort means different things to different people but it should be mandatory for people to stand at least 6inches away from you, (unless immediate friends or family) and should be given a ticket if found any closer, unless someone decides to extrude their guts in your vicinity then we declare a state of emergency for you to flee the scene.

 

 

Note: if you observe any one looking uneasy.. searching for a seat, complaining about not feeling well, offer your seat, and move away quickly before the chunks blow!

 

SSP.

Subway Sleepers

Mr. Sandman...Listen. You may only bring nightmares to subway sleepers.  When did it become appropriate to take a big deep REM sleep on a complete strangers shoulder? I don't recall any type of notification from the MTA about mandatory cuddling therefore I refuse to accept these slick attempts to get semi - cozy with some strange/strange looking person. We all know the attractive group is wide awake and are not down for invasion of their personal space. Wikipedia states - Personal space is the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs.

Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger, or anxiety when their personal space is encroached. I'm pretty sure sleeping on the train sounds fine to some people and if this is the case for you, You may be a subway sleeper yourself. Subway sleepers can be placed into  three categories
The Open Mouthers :

These individuals usually keep composure, head laid back mouth wide open the least threatening of all the subway sleepers but these are the ones that will most definitely miss their stop. They are usually seen in the morning looking tired and mean usually from a lack of sleep.

Next we have the Rocka my babies:

These are the most annoying of all subway sleepers, however not the most threatening, this type of sleeper sways from side to side never completely falling asleep. They may bump into you occasionally , apologize but continue to rock away until their appointed stop where they will host their own mini stampede off the train right before the door closes. They are usually coming from work, tired and have no intentions dozing but sleep gets the best of them. 

Finally we have the Goodnighters: 

Characteristics of a good nighter - snoring and or drooling, these sleepers are usually willing to sleep on a strangers shoulder, but most times they will try clever tactics to sleep, like placing their face in their own lap, sleeping their face against the pole or trying to use the side bars to lean on while they doze. What makes the good nighter the most threatening sleeper is not the fact that they snore or drool, But the fact that these sleepers are prone to falling at any time. Now what's worst that you heading to or from your destination on a -Monday (everyone is pissed on Mondays), and some random sleeping person invades your personal space?  And to make matters worse they will most likely have an attitude if you dare to nudge them or bring some attention to their sleepy situation, they may even be willing to fight,but commutable already addressed subway fighting.

My solution to sub-sleepers? Just move, find another spot or get ready to cozy up with the unattractives, and let me reiterate the fact that cuties don't cuddle.  

SSP

Riding with racism

 Do you ride public transportation?  then racism rides with you, the subway is one of the few places where every single race congregates with one main goal - to get to where the hell they need to be, and with that said "lets talk about race baby”. Since the beginning of time people tend to feel the most comfort amongst their own culture. Almost every ethnicity seem to have their specific places that they get on or off buses and trains. Most African Americans heading to or from Brooklyn are usually from the caribbean or of caribbean decent. 125th street is sprinkled with Hispanics. And Canal Street is where you might find your Asian persuasions. Where ever you get on or off I'm pretty sure it's well within your comfort zone without you even noticing. But lets take it a little deeper, I've heard stories about individuals from one race not accepting a seat from a person of another race, random outbursts from one race against another in regards to oppression (there is a time and place for everything, and while I am riding to or from work, does not include the time when I need to hear tales from the slave ship/ sorry). There are rumors about which race is more swift when it comes to finding a space to sit. Everyone is guilty of seeing someone enter the train and thought – “hey what are you doing around these parts”, while shaking your head. Personally I have seen a dispute between an African American woman and a Hispanic woman. The Hispanic woman had a stroller with a young child and was offered a seat that was cleverly nabbed by the African American woman then things got heated. As they argued back and forth about who was wrong or right, we all sided with the mother of the child until she yelled "do you think I am afraid of you.. Why should I be afraid, because you're BLACK?" Whoa… Racism is that you? I was at a loss for thoughts, the black comment stuck with me for a while until a homeless bum decided he had enough yelled for both women to shut it. It only expresses the fact that racism lays dormant in our thoughts until our limits get tested. Most individuals would never admit to being racist, even to themselves, but would not dare sit next to any other race while commuting. But if there is no identification, there can be no solution.

Here are a few Stereotypes that are interesting and funny but not necessarily true.

·         All Asians rush for seats

·         All whites get off at 86th street uptown6

·         All Asians get off at canal all

·         All Hispanics get off at 125th street

·         All mean looking black people want to fight ... No, wait. Be careful.

·         All African Americans eating beef patties on the train is Jamaican.

·         All white people like to take their bikes on train.

It's ironic how something as simple as commuting brings so many together yet still we remain segregated. “Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason”- www.finestquotes.com

SSP.

Down but not out!

At 5 pm Sunday October 28th I recall sipping memosas with close friends and family while rumors of hurricane Sandy were met with a smirk. An immediate comparison to hurricane Irene was almost inevitable, Hurricane Irene could be described as a barrage of scattered showers, it was nothing more than  slight annoyance to the average New Yorker. Sandy had already ravished a few Caribbean countries but somehow the news got lost between our political debates policies and proposals.Today (November 3rd) i'm riding the train for the first time since the Super storm and I flashback to when we all played with the idea of not heading to work that Monday and how happy it made us,little did we know the irony was about to be lost on us. Sandy's morning started off cloudy with loud winds that were growing increasingly violent. the windows struggled under the pressure and trees fought the breeze with all they had.The storm was a moving force of destruction with winds at 80 miles per hour , it hit land around 6:30 pm wreaking havoc on New York city, flooding homes,subways, almost 100 thousand without power not to mention the precious lives lost. Sadness and an immediate sense of helplessness was now upon us. New York - A city so Vibrant and feisty was now heartbroken,humble,and for the first time in a long time- quiet.Efforts for relief was instant but hardly sufficient , the storm was underestimated and this came at a devastating cost. 

   
Express additional patience and humility while commuting my people, remember - we may be wounded but we made it, and we may  have been in different locations when the storm hit, but we all still faced it together.
SSP.

Subway fights

 

Everyone is familiar with subway brawls (some of you hoodlums were a part of those brawls) and if you know anything about subway fights you know that fights usually take place after a "We are being delayed because…(lies lies lies)" message by the train operator. While some fights may be between lovers, or rivals in my opinion most fights involve people that are total strangers. So what would make you fight a stranger on the subway? One subway rider states: one woman was so busy reading her holy book that she never even notices that her butt less than an inch away from the seated passengers face and this was reason enough, another states: a funky armpit in the face will set things off very quickly.  Whatever the reason, some riders seem ok with getting down and dirty - even getting arrested to get their point across. I've seen an older lady get thrashed by a younger woman. Now before everyone starts feeling bad for this lady, this is how it unraveled. The 4 train was set to leave Utica avenue towards Manhattan at any minute, everyone was comfortably seated with only a few standing patrons. As the doors were closing one woman used her arm to jar the doors then began to force her body through the tiny space. After a brief struggle the doors opened, and this sent her flying, followed by a double roll onto the ground - wow. Dirty and embarrassed she shoved the first unsuspecting individual- a young girl, looking like she was reluctantly heading for school. Unfortunately this young girl apparently was not in a good mood to begin with and proceeded to give this woman stern whooping until the lady's wig fell off. Now being the cool New Yorkers that we are we chuckled to each other in disbelief then resumed playing with our phones. I could say the moral of the story is to let closing train doors close, there will always be another, But I'd rather say don't fight on trains, you may be the one getting down and dirty but your just making us all look bad.

If you see a fight on your train remember

1. You do not have to record the fight on your camera phone, but if you do get a good angle.
2. Feel free to move to the opposite end of the cart, or to the next cart once the door opens (smart people do this).
3. Be alert! Sometimes fights get out of control.
4. If you are the one fighting, remember that your wig may be the weakest link. 

Have you seen a bus or subway fight recently? Feel free to share the details with me!

SSP.

~Subway conduct ~

Let's face it, it is expensive to commute on a daily basis. If you are like me and currently using a monthly unlimited metro card, the MTA has become our unofficial slumlord and rent is about to increase. But since I'm not ready to get into the MTA services or lack thereof, I will continue by highlighting  just a few misconducts  I encounter on the train on a daily basis. $104 a month should allow me at least a comfy stress free, mess free ride on the bus and train right? negative!  here are a few things that catch my attention and not in a good way.

Ø  Mr. / Ms. My great choice of music selection has to be heard by the world.

Ø  Mr. let me stand too close- breathe on you AND  get up on that booty too(if you don’t mind) its packed in here.

Ø  Mr. Let me dance /sell Candy for my basketball team (weed money) blah blah blah (shut up).

Ø  Mr. I wanted to ride my bike but shit let me just take the bike on the train instead.

Ø  Mr./Ms. let me just nap on your shoulder for a small sec.

Ø  Ms. I'm  way too cute to move down so I'll just stand here and block the door ,be aware that I will not be getting off at any time soon.

Ø  Mr./ Ms. I will lean my back against the pole even though the train is packed.

Ø  Mr. Look at me- I'm too cool to hold on but I will be falling on you in 3 mins or so, so brace yourself.

Ø  Ms. "Omg girl you wouldn’t believe what happened" followed by loud 20 mins conversation that should not be heard in public.

Ø  Last but not least- Mr. there is Def space for one more in there. - dude really?

Personally I feel everyone should be held responsible for making the commute a bit more tolerable, simple things such as taking off that giant Killer man jaro super camping back pack, Speaking a little softer when discussing personal issues regarding you or mans privates, or refraining from taking that lazy boy chair  that  you just got off the wagon on the train with your best bud from the block ,will make the ride smoother for everyone, and who doesn’t like a smooth ride right? Feel free to identify other Mr./Ms. misconducts and add them to the list but personally I wish I could write them a ticket or make a citizen's arrest if need be. how about it Mr. Obama?

SSP.