Pervapalooza

Pervert: a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable.

After months of almost no motivation to write about anything, I have been driven to say my piece about the increase in sexual harassment that has been plaguing our subways since I myself recently fell victim to some “pervy antics”.   I have been to the edge of disgust and back observing perve-tactics and with great displeasure I'll list them in true commutable fashion.

The "slight hover-er" 

The slight hover-er AKA the closeted pervert is that one person that does as the name suggest, hover, usually they will pretend to look intensely at a map, the time on the train, or even outside the window, to give you the idea that their attention is elsewhere as opposed to on you (which it really is). They will stand eerily close to you to the point where you may even feel them breathing. (gross). Don’t be fooled, they are observing you from the peripheral and enjoying every bit of the “almost touching encounter” the only positive thing about the “hoverer” is that they will not make contact.

The "I don't know what I am doing-er"

This perve will enter the train then clumsily brush closely past you, either getting off or on the train, this method is swift and most time undetectable since most people bump into and brush against other individuals as soon as the train door opens. As this name also suggest the perve will seem discombobulated and confused about how to position their body in the packed train which will result in the frisky brush up that appears all too innocent.

The "female pervert"- oh yes we went there!

History has condemned men repeatedly for partaking in perverse-ness but today we will shine the light on the female pervert. Usually we already think in the back of our mind that perverted men look like perverts. However women slide though without notice, they just look and smell too darn good to be perverts right? Wrong. The female pervert is a master of disguise, and she has stealth beyond belief. The double standard makes it difficult to pin point her without men getting all excited, but today she will be condemned. The fervert will partake in acts like, leaning back onto an attractive stranger, she will fall unto you copying the behavior of the “I don’t know what I am doing-er” but these “incidents” will be followed by an apology- touch -and giggle. Then last but not least the boobies on your back trick, oh yes, I know you guys have been there. Don’t fall for it men because be advised that the fervert is almost always crazy and bad catch.

The "wandering hand"

This pervert will pretend his hands have a mind of its own. He will be looking left but the hands are moving right, right to your rear end. He will not at anytime face you. The wandering hand pervert will usually look off into space but contact without confrontation is his aim. One frequent “wandering hand ”incident occurs while holding on to the pole and perv’s hand slides down touching yours. The average person will realize and remove the hand ASAP, but perve’s hand will remain on your hand while he looks away he will not move his hand and will seem annoyed if you dare to move yours.

"Jeepers creepers"  

This is the term I give when an immediate display of perv-antics are shown without concern. Jeepers creepers, will give you a weird vibe almost as soon as he enters, he will stand directly behind you in an empty train.  They will touch, grope, sniff, rub or expose themselves along with any other form of perverse activity. They are not cautious; they have no feelings of remorse. The good news is that their “free ness” is what makes them easier to spot and this can help us to avoid contact, they are usually very direct, so direct that when they attack the victim is usually left in a state of disbelief.

One interesting thing that i have observed, is that perve-actions is in no way restricted to any specific race, sex or age group.  Not enough is being done to inform individuals about what to do if they feel like they have been victimized. “Just tell the police” is usually the answer. Most victims just walk away feeling like trash but wont mention it again, and this is how the perv a polooza continues.

Three steps to aid in the fight against Pervapolooza.

1. Move – move away from the area, don’t wait. The minute you feel your spidey sense tingle, change your location or your position.
2. Turn and face the perv – most of them fear confrontation.

3. Speak -, “excuse me, you are too close” (men you can use this too for the ferverts) – this works as well, it embarrasses the perv, but you might get yelled at if the perv’s fight or flight instinct kicks in and the train is still in motion.