No butts about it.

In today's society we have learned to carry ourselves appropriately (well at least most of us). We dress uniquely for a specific occasion, we dress to flatter our bodies, and we dress to illustrate our awareness of fashion. Now just like clothes we are also aware of our body types today I am specifically addressing butts, the junk in the trunk, the gluteus maximus and our privates. 

Women! 

·         Carry your junk with grace!

·         No butts over pole!

·         No backs against the pole, give others a chance to hold on

·         Be aware, I see some of you ladies leaning on (strange) men, mainly because they look attractive (but remember, not all perverts/rapists are ugly)

·         If something falls, be modest about bending down or over

·         It might be 2013 but showing crack is still whack

MEN!

·         Be conscious of how you stand while holding the handlebars

·         Also no backs against the pole

·         Sometimes you are standing too close to us and you know it

·         If you have to stretch over or around someone to hold on, you may need to move somewhere else or you just may be a pervert.

·         Trying sitting with your legs closed men! We are all trying to get home (preferably with a seat)

This is one of my recent experiences. Late on a Thursday morning my train is trotting slowly along with only minimum amount of commuters - all seated. As new passengers enter and settle, one man makes his mountain man pose too close to a seated passengers face then all hell broke loose. I'd like to assume the seated passenger was mentally unstable because he proceeded to yell at the standing passenger “dude get your D*** outta my face! Are you crazy?” “Why would you stand here?”  “So close?”  “Get outta here, who puts their D*** in someone’s face ”! While everyone began to ridicule the thug, I started smiling.  I am in no way condoning his actions, but I comprehended his argument. I see this happen to women every day, men standing - women seated (in some cases the man will get up to offer the seat) then before you know it his genitalia region begins drifting towards your face, you may try to turn away but guess what? It’s happening. You may choose to allow it or lose your seat but that decision may not be as easy as we think (some folks love to sit). As usual I emphasize moving to another spot if you can, unless you would rather be uncomfortable, but just think of the fact that you are paying all this money for metro cards and you are unable to ride comfortably, just doesn’t seem fair.

Commutable safety tip: Try to allow a small space on the steps when exiting the subway. Just like a car if someone stops suddenly you definitely will crash into him or her.