Commute Couture



are you ready for your close up? ha!



        Lights cameras commute! Commuting has proven to be effective in taking us to our respective destinations but indirectly it has also been influencing our everyday fashion sense. How many times have you noticed a particular outfit brought to you via the "subway runway" and expressed your like or dislike immediately by thought. Unlike the catwalks in Paris or China commuter couture is the most effective in starting trends, it's what people think is more relatable, "if she can pull that off I will try something similar also" or "oh that's how that shirt looks, I will purchase one soon".  The subway brings front and center, everyday people modeling clothes, hair, shoes and accessories for men women and kids. Our peers are more influential than any model or mannequin could be..Nothing beats someone your size wearing clothes you like.

But it's only normal commutable to put things in the acceptable/ unacceptable category so here it comes.

Please be advised - You may only try to replicate a look (Elvis, Rhianna,Marylyn Monroe, nicki manaj, Katy perry , halle berry as cat woman ect.) only if you are being paid to do so.



no! Grandma no!










oh no!










 

cute!









   



cool as a cucumber





ok ! lose the hat and smile!





go ahead brotha!



Regardless of where we go, most ppl try to get to their destinations as flawless as possible. Classy n casual or dressy n chic, then we have the rest that try their best to not look like they care at all (which sometimes is more work than just looking awesome). I personally believe that wherever a group congregates, there is always a few ppl attempting to make statements via fashion, and while some are big hits, others are horrible misses.

Commutable safety tip: try to keep metro cards in your bag or wallet, not in your pocket. (Especially if you own a monthly unlimited).

Just in case you didnt know !!!!

Fares & MetroCard

• The fare for a subway or local bus ride is $2.50*. The fare for an express bus ride is $6. If you qualify for reduced fare, you can travel for half fare. Up to three children 44 inches tall and under ride for free on subways and local buses when accompanied by a fare paying adult. Infants (under two years of age) ride express buses free if the child sits on the lap of the accompanying adult.
  With MetroCard your rides can cost less. You can buy MetroCard three ways:

• Pay-Per-Ride (Regular) MetroCard
  
  
• Unlimited Ride MetroCard
  
  
• Now your 7-Day and 30-Day MetroCard can be refilled
  
  
• Get the MetroCard that refills itself automatically — EasyPayXpress MetroCard
  

* The cost of a SingleRide ticket is $2.75. Sold at vending machines only.
for more information you can visit: http://www.mta.info/metrocard/mcgtreng.htm

Train chow

When dining at a 5 star restaurant we have the option of ordering a feast, or as I like to call it, “the belly’s fantasy”. You may be a chicken or fish person, you may be a steak or beef person, shout outs to my vegans also. However while commuting, eating en route may be tricky business. Yes, sometimes we tend to speed out with out breakfast, or work late and miss dinner. And lunch! who has time for that when an urgent deadline is approaching. It has become almost normal for commuters to snack while traveling and this is acceptable, however what is not acceptable is busting down a whole 3-course meal in 10 minutes and licking barbecue sauce from your fingers while you try to hustle to your destination. Since I strongly believe “train chowing” is becoming an epidemic in our society I will attempt to address this issue and bring some clarity on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable while commuting.

Unacceptable

• Soup
• lo-mien
• Jerk chicken
• BBQ wings
• Fish
• Mash potatoes and gravy
• Pudding
• Burgers
• Halal- chicken or lamb over rice
• KFC family bucket. 

Acceptable:

• Fries
• Peanuts
• Wraps
• Small sandwich
• Candy
• Smoothies/shakes
• Coffee
• Protein bars
• Chips
• Energy drinks
• Bottled water

 Please be advised that any food type that requires an eating utensil in order to consume, has gravy or a side is unacceptable. Minorities! We already have 99 problems eating on the train shouldn’t be one. I recently observed this nicely dressed lady heading from work, demolishing a KFC chicken pot pie on the train, then when she realized she was the talk of the cart, she rolled her eyes and said “what?”. My immediate thought was. What the hell does she mean, by “what”- your face is covered with pie crust! and I’m pretty sure the people standing 3 carts down can hear you chomp, where is your pride and manners? At that moment she was being examined, judged, she was representing women everywhere and she had failed us miserably.

My thoughts – eating a whole meal on the train is irrelevant and unnecessary. Sip or snack only if you need to not because you can.



NO!



Commutable safety tip: always stand behind the yellow line on the platform. Being annoying and peeking up the track every 3 seconds will not make the train arrive any faster. It only makes it easier for you to trip or get bumped.

Bum check please!

Weary from hard work we all often fall victim to that frightening wake up stench of bums. Even the most alert will once in a while jump in a cart without bum checking first. Bums: - are not to be mistaken with homeless or begging patrons. These few details will allow you to differentiate a bum from other randomness while commuting.

·         Bum black bags.

·         Bum cart

·         Bum ensembles

·         Unnecessary baggage

·         Bum stench

Once you have confirmed that you are in the presence of a certified bum you might want to:

1.      Stand close to an exit and switch carts at the next stop unless you feel invincible and you can weather the stench, and to that I say good luck.

2.      Ensure you have a clear pathway for airflow that is not sweeping in from the Bums direction.

3.       Keep a safe distance in case the bum makes a dash for the exit. Don’t get Bum bumped.

4.      Stay alert.

Tricky bums.

Over a few years I've come to discover new specie of bums I've nicknamed tricky bums. These bums are not in generic bum attire. They do not carry, extra-baggage however, what they do carry is an extra serving of bum stench. I encountered my 1st tricky bum around 4 years ago; tired from a long day I jumped on a train, before bum checking. After everything was settled the stench showed up and said howdy. I wondered to myself could I have been that irresponsible? Is this a bum cart? But there was no bum to be seen. The crowd started shifting from the stench but it seemed as if the stench was everywhere. In the end it was a woman nicely dressed in a floral print summer dress. We only figured after she exited because the stench went with her. I describe this as bum trickery since the lady kept moving in the mists of the angry commuters but because she was well put together she was automatically not an obvious suspect. Tricky bums usually set off panic within a cart because being in a packed cart unable to identify the source of a stench is frightening.

Commutable alert tip – if you like standing by doors while commuting (I do) remember to keep your gadgets tucked away for the majority of the ride. Thieves like to grab and dash, usually from the person standing closest to the exit.

Proximity

Proximity  can be described as : nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation.

 As seldom as we think about proximity it actually plays an important role in our everyday commute. For example couples and immediate family usually stand the closest in the subway .they frequently lean, touch or even bump into each other without noticing . Friends and acquaintances keep a steady distance between each other, close enough to converse but not as close as a couples proximity. But recent experiences have lead me to raise the question - how close is too close? Couples have all right to exhibit public displays of affection but dry humping your spouse in the midst of strangers and children is highly inappropriate. Parents have all right to bring their kids on public transportation but when the kids decide to stretch out on the seat like a sofa this is highly inappropriate, when a stranger stands close enough that you can feel their breath - this also is highly inappropriate. Every car, bus, train cart is made efficiently for a specific amount of people to fit comfortably. But sometimes you have to be aware of the proximity rule(~a person commuting via mass transit should always be at least 6 inches away from every other individual at all times~), this rule is effective whenever you have encountered a situation that makes you think whoa- is it just me? Or is this person weird for being this close.

Don't be afraid! Yell out proximity rule when:

• A hand slides down the pole onto yours-ewww
• When the person standing in front hair happens to be in your face
• When someone is so close to you that you can feel their body heat .
• When some one's random bag of shenanigans is resting on your foot.
• When some one's handbag or back pack is poking you in the back or side.

In an ironic twist - while finishing up this article on the train..... a girl throws up in the cart that I'm riding in!

Pause!

 

I then found the only exception where the proximity rule becomes  null and void. Like a ripple in pond of water people moved away uniformly to escape one of the most potent threats of a commuter - vomit. This is one of the few cases where bumping into someone, jumping onto someone, clutching some stranger is absolutely acceptable (followed by a sincere apology of course).public transport is designed for you to travel safely and comfortably to your destination. personally i know that comfort means different things to different people but it should be mandatory for people to stand at least 6inches away from you, (unless immediate friends or family) and should be given a ticket if found any closer, unless someone decides to extrude their guts in your vicinity then we declare a state of emergency for you to flee the scene.

 

 

Note: if you observe any one looking uneasy.. searching for a seat, complaining about not feeling well, offer your seat, and move away quickly before the chunks blow!

 

SSP.

Subway Sleepers

Mr. Sandman...Listen. You may only bring nightmares to subway sleepers.  When did it become appropriate to take a big deep REM sleep on a complete strangers shoulder? I don't recall any type of notification from the MTA about mandatory cuddling therefore I refuse to accept these slick attempts to get semi - cozy with some strange/strange looking person. We all know the attractive group is wide awake and are not down for invasion of their personal space. Wikipedia states - Personal space is the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs.

Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger, or anxiety when their personal space is encroached. I'm pretty sure sleeping on the train sounds fine to some people and if this is the case for you, You may be a subway sleeper yourself. Subway sleepers can be placed into  three categories
The Open Mouthers :

These individuals usually keep composure, head laid back mouth wide open the least threatening of all the subway sleepers but these are the ones that will most definitely miss their stop. They are usually seen in the morning looking tired and mean usually from a lack of sleep.

Next we have the Rocka my babies:

These are the most annoying of all subway sleepers, however not the most threatening, this type of sleeper sways from side to side never completely falling asleep. They may bump into you occasionally , apologize but continue to rock away until their appointed stop where they will host their own mini stampede off the train right before the door closes. They are usually coming from work, tired and have no intentions dozing but sleep gets the best of them. 

Finally we have the Goodnighters: 

Characteristics of a good nighter - snoring and or drooling, these sleepers are usually willing to sleep on a strangers shoulder, but most times they will try clever tactics to sleep, like placing their face in their own lap, sleeping their face against the pole or trying to use the side bars to lean on while they doze. What makes the good nighter the most threatening sleeper is not the fact that they snore or drool, But the fact that these sleepers are prone to falling at any time. Now what's worst that you heading to or from your destination on a -Monday (everyone is pissed on Mondays), and some random sleeping person invades your personal space?  And to make matters worse they will most likely have an attitude if you dare to nudge them or bring some attention to their sleepy situation, they may even be willing to fight,but commutable already addressed subway fighting.

My solution to sub-sleepers? Just move, find another spot or get ready to cozy up with the unattractives, and let me reiterate the fact that cuties don't cuddle.  

SSP

Riding with racism

 Do you ride public transportation?  then racism rides with you, the subway is one of the few places where every single race congregates with one main goal - to get to where the hell they need to be, and with that said "lets talk about race baby”. Since the beginning of time people tend to feel the most comfort amongst their own culture. Almost every ethnicity seem to have their specific places that they get on or off buses and trains. Most African Americans heading to or from Brooklyn are usually from the caribbean or of caribbean decent. 125th street is sprinkled with Hispanics. And Canal Street is where you might find your Asian persuasions. Where ever you get on or off I'm pretty sure it's well within your comfort zone without you even noticing. But lets take it a little deeper, I've heard stories about individuals from one race not accepting a seat from a person of another race, random outbursts from one race against another in regards to oppression (there is a time and place for everything, and while I am riding to or from work, does not include the time when I need to hear tales from the slave ship/ sorry). There are rumors about which race is more swift when it comes to finding a space to sit. Everyone is guilty of seeing someone enter the train and thought – “hey what are you doing around these parts”, while shaking your head. Personally I have seen a dispute between an African American woman and a Hispanic woman. The Hispanic woman had a stroller with a young child and was offered a seat that was cleverly nabbed by the African American woman then things got heated. As they argued back and forth about who was wrong or right, we all sided with the mother of the child until she yelled "do you think I am afraid of you.. Why should I be afraid, because you're BLACK?" Whoa… Racism is that you? I was at a loss for thoughts, the black comment stuck with me for a while until a homeless bum decided he had enough yelled for both women to shut it. It only expresses the fact that racism lays dormant in our thoughts until our limits get tested. Most individuals would never admit to being racist, even to themselves, but would not dare sit next to any other race while commuting. But if there is no identification, there can be no solution.

Here are a few Stereotypes that are interesting and funny but not necessarily true.

·         All Asians rush for seats

·         All whites get off at 86th street uptown6

·         All Asians get off at canal all

·         All Hispanics get off at 125th street

·         All mean looking black people want to fight ... No, wait. Be careful.

·         All African Americans eating beef patties on the train is Jamaican.

·         All white people like to take their bikes on train.

It's ironic how something as simple as commuting brings so many together yet still we remain segregated. “Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason”- www.finestquotes.com

SSP.