Wait.. What did you just say?

Commuting with someone familiar usually means one thing- on your mark/get set/ go!!!"chit chat time". Friends, family, co-workers and classmates all engage in a major talkfest from entrance to exit in busses and on trains. Conversations range from grievances at work, relationship drama, sports, all the way to the hottest new or favorite television show. But ever so often I overhear just a small piece of a discussion that makes me think to myself-"wait, what did you say?” I’ve heard various hilarious bits of conversations that have led me to assume either the beginning or conclusion of the story and yes, my imagination usually goes to the extreme. My most recent "wait what" moment came when this woman decided to wrap up her conversation with "it was a booty call gone all wrong"... Whoa what did the body of this conversation entail? I chuckled to myself. A few of my readers have already address the "wait what" phenomenon and they shared a few moments for my entertainment but unfortunately some of the contents were too much for poor commutable to handle but do not worry!  I did manage to pick a small amount of quotes from commuters to share.

-"And I told him he definitely needs to get that looked at"…. (Hmm I wonder what “that” is)

-" That’s why I let my dog do his business on their lawn"…. (What ever happened to loving thy neighbor?)

-"If plan a doesn't work, then straight to plan b because we have to show them that we mean business"...  (Plan B sound very suspicious to me)

- And most recently one rider was inquiring about a drink that Rider # 2 was carrying in his hand and he replied a power shake with ginseng, helps me focus. Rider #1 - under his breath "focus? Just do a few LINES for focus dude….

 (Whoa, my life would have been better off with out that) 

Personally I think conversations should be at least filtered/ and or edited before introducing them to the public. I’m pretty sure you have heard a few of these crazy bits that immediately makes you think- I don't think I should be hearing this. And as usual i dream of the day that I will see tickets being issued for individuals who expose our minds to these poisonous/ yet sometimes hilarious conversations, that linger in our minds, If even for a few seconds, because time lost can never be regained. 

Commutable safety tip: Be aware of these nutty dancers on the train, one man almost got kicked in the face trying to play it cool with these B Boys busting  "dope moves".

Ssp.

Is anyone else out there?

Riding the subway I usually have experiences that make me wonder - does anyone else out there share the same experiences that I do and react in a similar manner?

Well today I got that answer, enter big guy reading his newspaper. I usually stress that mannerisms and consideration is the key to a decent commute. The empty train allowed "big newspaper man" to just relax and enjoy his early morning news paper for all it was worth. Licking his fingers to help turn each page carefully, he sighed right before he flipped each page. Seeing how pleasant and calm he appeared it made even me relaxed to see someone without that usual "I am not a morning person" look stamped on their forehead.

Here comes a couple looking for a cozy seat to sit. Ignoring the mass of empty space available, they made the not so clever decision to snuggle up with big newspaperman. Now as I do my (hold on a second, that’s not ok) look, big newspaperman immediately flashed a look of his own, and to me it said "are you guys crazy?" clearly indicating that he was not down with the snuggle posse. 

As his look met with mine, I smiled inside, thinking I've just found a commutable relative that is fully aware of the regulations of the proximity rule. Without another expression big newspaperman speedily relocated to an empty seat and continued to divulge in his newspaperism. His deep annoyance towards the cuddle couple led me to observe his every move and expression.

A few minutes sooner than later a female passenger dares to sneeze twice, and not cover her face, I guess she thought she was pretty enough to pull that off! My eyes were locked unto big newspaper man as I noticed he had pulled the newspaper really close to his face and instantly gave her the death stare, I guess she was cute but not cute enough, he probably even held his breath for a second, I know that’s probably what I would do. All this man wanted was to read his paper and get to his destination in peace and what did he get couple that tried to snuggle, and possibly cold or the flu, but I guess he will find out within the next two weeks.

I Was always described as being sensitive, however big newspaper man has taught me that I am not alone in my sensitive commute, he also find passengers standing or sitting too close to him in an empty train strange. He also does not want to share his air with an inconsiderate sneezing commuter, not that anyone else would want that, but his reactions were priceless to say the least and to that I say WELCOME big newspaper man we are one people.

Commutable safety tip:  Let closing doors close, sticking your hand or bag in the doors does not guarantee that you will get in.

SsPowell.

Street crossing 101

Apart from the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty New Yorkers seem to be under the impression that crossing the streets without checking if the walk sign says walk is the coolest thing since smoking. What's the reason for this I always ask? The answer is always the same, "I'm in a rush plus pedestrians always have the right of way". 

Jaywalking is a term that originated in the United States and is widely used elsewhere to refer to illegal or reckless pedestrian crossing of a roadway. Examples include a pedestrian crossing between intersections without yielding to drivers.

What are the disadvantages of Jay walking?

• Death
• Broken leg
• Death
• Broken arm
• Broken spine
• Fractured skull
• Death
• Concussion
• Internal bleeding
• Death
• Loss of speech
• Loss of Sight
• Loss of Hearing
• Emotional trauma
• All of the above then death.

And even with health insurance this all sounds expensive.

I'm not sure about you guys but the thought of losing all sensation in the lower part of the body isn't attractive. There will always be another train, bus, or cab. But there can never be another you. We now live in this warped society where WALK means "leisurely strolling" .... Flashing caution light means walk.. And STOP light means run.   Let's get back to simply stopping and taking a deep breath of air when it's not our turn to walk. States such as - California, Texas already issue tickets for Jaywalking and New Jersey will soon follow.

Jaywalking can be very dangerous  for both pedestrians and drivers. Drivers are not  prepared for pedestrians suddenly crossing the street. Even when conditions are slow in one direction of traffic, a jaywalker usually finds themselves trapped in the middle of the street .How many times have you tried to cross the street with a group of people and one person runs into the street regardless of the fact that traffic was still moving, how silly do they look stuck standing on the yellow lines as cars come at them- each side at around 50mph.

A sudden change in a pedestrian's direction also may result in an accident. Intersections and crosswalks  are designed to allow pedestrian traffic to cross laterally, not diagonally. Crossing the street against the direction is not only stupid. its dangerous.Oh and by the way No one Jay walks in CANADA, they know why (wink) .As funny as it all sounds I completely understand why it is necessary, what do you rather a ticket or death.

Commutable safety tip: walk only when you are absolutely sure it's safe to do so, when in doubt just wait.

Commute Couture



are you ready for your close up? ha!



        Lights cameras commute! Commuting has proven to be effective in taking us to our respective destinations but indirectly it has also been influencing our everyday fashion sense. How many times have you noticed a particular outfit brought to you via the "subway runway" and expressed your like or dislike immediately by thought. Unlike the catwalks in Paris or China commuter couture is the most effective in starting trends, it's what people think is more relatable, "if she can pull that off I will try something similar also" or "oh that's how that shirt looks, I will purchase one soon".  The subway brings front and center, everyday people modeling clothes, hair, shoes and accessories for men women and kids. Our peers are more influential than any model or mannequin could be..Nothing beats someone your size wearing clothes you like.

But it's only normal commutable to put things in the acceptable/ unacceptable category so here it comes.

Please be advised - You may only try to replicate a look (Elvis, Rhianna,Marylyn Monroe, nicki manaj, Katy perry , halle berry as cat woman ect.) only if you are being paid to do so.



no! Grandma no!










oh no!










 

cute!









   



cool as a cucumber





ok ! lose the hat and smile!





go ahead brotha!



Regardless of where we go, most ppl try to get to their destinations as flawless as possible. Classy n casual or dressy n chic, then we have the rest that try their best to not look like they care at all (which sometimes is more work than just looking awesome). I personally believe that wherever a group congregates, there is always a few ppl attempting to make statements via fashion, and while some are big hits, others are horrible misses.

Commutable safety tip: try to keep metro cards in your bag or wallet, not in your pocket. (Especially if you own a monthly unlimited).

Just in case you didnt know !!!!

Fares & MetroCard

• The fare for a subway or local bus ride is $2.50*. The fare for an express bus ride is $6. If you qualify for reduced fare, you can travel for half fare. Up to three children 44 inches tall and under ride for free on subways and local buses when accompanied by a fare paying adult. Infants (under two years of age) ride express buses free if the child sits on the lap of the accompanying adult.
  With MetroCard your rides can cost less. You can buy MetroCard three ways:

• Pay-Per-Ride (Regular) MetroCard
  
  
• Unlimited Ride MetroCard
  
  
• Now your 7-Day and 30-Day MetroCard can be refilled
  
  
• Get the MetroCard that refills itself automatically — EasyPayXpress MetroCard
  

* The cost of a SingleRide ticket is $2.75. Sold at vending machines only.
for more information you can visit: http://www.mta.info/metrocard/mcgtreng.htm

Train chow

When dining at a 5 star restaurant we have the option of ordering a feast, or as I like to call it, “the belly’s fantasy”. You may be a chicken or fish person, you may be a steak or beef person, shout outs to my vegans also. However while commuting, eating en route may be tricky business. Yes, sometimes we tend to speed out with out breakfast, or work late and miss dinner. And lunch! who has time for that when an urgent deadline is approaching. It has become almost normal for commuters to snack while traveling and this is acceptable, however what is not acceptable is busting down a whole 3-course meal in 10 minutes and licking barbecue sauce from your fingers while you try to hustle to your destination. Since I strongly believe “train chowing” is becoming an epidemic in our society I will attempt to address this issue and bring some clarity on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable while commuting.

Unacceptable

• Soup
• lo-mien
• Jerk chicken
• BBQ wings
• Fish
• Mash potatoes and gravy
• Pudding
• Burgers
• Halal- chicken or lamb over rice
• KFC family bucket. 

Acceptable:

• Fries
• Peanuts
• Wraps
• Small sandwich
• Candy
• Smoothies/shakes
• Coffee
• Protein bars
• Chips
• Energy drinks
• Bottled water

 Please be advised that any food type that requires an eating utensil in order to consume, has gravy or a side is unacceptable. Minorities! We already have 99 problems eating on the train shouldn’t be one. I recently observed this nicely dressed lady heading from work, demolishing a KFC chicken pot pie on the train, then when she realized she was the talk of the cart, she rolled her eyes and said “what?”. My immediate thought was. What the hell does she mean, by “what”- your face is covered with pie crust! and I’m pretty sure the people standing 3 carts down can hear you chomp, where is your pride and manners? At that moment she was being examined, judged, she was representing women everywhere and she had failed us miserably.

My thoughts – eating a whole meal on the train is irrelevant and unnecessary. Sip or snack only if you need to not because you can.



NO!



Commutable safety tip: always stand behind the yellow line on the platform. Being annoying and peeking up the track every 3 seconds will not make the train arrive any faster. It only makes it easier for you to trip or get bumped.

Bum check please!

Weary from hard work we all often fall victim to that frightening wake up stench of bums. Even the most alert will once in a while jump in a cart without bum checking first. Bums: - are not to be mistaken with homeless or begging patrons. These few details will allow you to differentiate a bum from other randomness while commuting.

·         Bum black bags.

·         Bum cart

·         Bum ensembles

·         Unnecessary baggage

·         Bum stench

Once you have confirmed that you are in the presence of a certified bum you might want to:

1.      Stand close to an exit and switch carts at the next stop unless you feel invincible and you can weather the stench, and to that I say good luck.

2.      Ensure you have a clear pathway for airflow that is not sweeping in from the Bums direction.

3.       Keep a safe distance in case the bum makes a dash for the exit. Don’t get Bum bumped.

4.      Stay alert.

Tricky bums.

Over a few years I've come to discover new specie of bums I've nicknamed tricky bums. These bums are not in generic bum attire. They do not carry, extra-baggage however, what they do carry is an extra serving of bum stench. I encountered my 1st tricky bum around 4 years ago; tired from a long day I jumped on a train, before bum checking. After everything was settled the stench showed up and said howdy. I wondered to myself could I have been that irresponsible? Is this a bum cart? But there was no bum to be seen. The crowd started shifting from the stench but it seemed as if the stench was everywhere. In the end it was a woman nicely dressed in a floral print summer dress. We only figured after she exited because the stench went with her. I describe this as bum trickery since the lady kept moving in the mists of the angry commuters but because she was well put together she was automatically not an obvious suspect. Tricky bums usually set off panic within a cart because being in a packed cart unable to identify the source of a stench is frightening.

Commutable alert tip – if you like standing by doors while commuting (I do) remember to keep your gadgets tucked away for the majority of the ride. Thieves like to grab and dash, usually from the person standing closest to the exit.